中文收听|Listen English


Next time, when David passed the computer room, D-Rick stopped him and said: "I have a better one for you this time. You can tell people: 'I am gonna open a can of whoop ass on you. Wait, this one is better, you can tell then: 'I am gonna bus a cap in you ass'". "What does that mean" David asked. D explained that "bus a cap" means "bust a bullet" and rest are just normal English. Then he also extended his thumb and index finger with his thumb pointing to the ground and said "you have to put you hand out cool like that. Don't hold a gun like normal position, point your fingers this direction to bus a cap. Got it?" He laughed uncontrollably again, apparently very much amused at the comical scene of having a Chinese looking language student talking with Ebonics.

To further his mentoring achievement, D-Rick decided to teach David some "hand stacking" signs next time. He gestured like a baseball coach with fingers sticking out inexplicably and told David those were the "stackings" that would make him even more "straight from the hood" and feared by normal people. Then he shouted out with more laughs and said: "don't do that! You will get yourself killed if you happened to do the wrong stacking to the wrong people. They are gang signs. That's what they are".

David did not know much about gangs in America other than watching TV and listening to the news, therefore asked: "what kind of gangs, like MS 13 they talked about on TV these days?" "What MS 13?" D-Rick puzzled. David said: "Well, I am surprised that you haven't heard of MS 13. It's all over the paper, radio and TV these days". Then he quickly went to the nearest computer and Googled it out. D-Rick read about it and then nodded a little bit said: "hmm, hmmm, hmmm, a sort of like the gang I talked about, but this is nothing. The gangs that I talked about were ones like Bloods and Cripps." Then he quickly Googled out Bloods and Crips, and told David: "If you do some of the Bloods' stacking in front of the Cripps' members, you might get killed. These are people who really did some crazy stuff over the years and they were at each others' throats".

After a few days, D-Rick taught David a word "budongkadonk" and asked whether there were many Chinese women that were overweight. He joked with David that he wanted to go to the Burrito House call center, which was just outside immediately adjacent to the computer room, and asked David to prepare a notebook with a checklist to mark which of the call takers was or was not a "budongkadongk". Afterwards, David learned that in Burrito House call center, there were a few Asian like call takers all of whom D-Rick called "Chinese". D-Rick was especially fond of one such girl called Lydia who was originally from Malaysia. D-Rick asked David to teach him a few Chinese phrases to talk to her. David obliged, but when asked about his opinion about Lydia, David replied with straightforwardness and said he thought Lydia was mentally unstable. After a few weeks, D-Rick found out more about Lydia and agreed with David's opinion that the call taker was not as nice as he originally thought after all. David told him that in Chinese, it was said听话听声,锣鼓听音, and it was probably easier to get a clearer overall picture about what someone was really thinking by listening to his or her talks in different languages and contexts.

D-Rick was disappointed at Lydia and said: "I thought most of the Asians were calm and cool and all that, I didn't think she (Lydia) would be capable of cursing like that". David said: "Well everybody probably has a dark side. It's just that different people would choose to display their personalities differently in front of different people." D-Rick said: "when I was young, there was a Chinese Mr. Lee living in my neighborhood. He was always calm and polite. I come from a very bad neighborhood. We were doing nasty things to neighbor's yards or pets and the neighbors usually would say: "you little sons of bitches stay the hell off of my damn porch". But Mr. Lee would only say things like: "you kids are not supposed to do that . . . I never saw him get angry. I have never seen you get angry either, by the way. If it's me, I would just tell people, I am about to get a crumk when people tell me the things they tell you". David said: "that's because I am a contractor. I just won't deal with these people forever. If I were you, I probably would get angry too. If you think all the Asians are nice, who do you think beat up all the nice Asians before white man went to Asia? There were surely some Asians you don't want to meet in a dark allies, like the famous Mongolians called Gingiskhan.

Asians come in different shapes and forms too. My neighbors used to call us little rascals too and we were not exactly Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts of America either when we were little."

"Oh, I'd like to hear that. Tell me one nasty thing you have done when you were a kid". David thought for a while and said: "one day, we were on a construction site and found a big pot of tars milting above a big oven for sealing crack on over the roofs or basements or something." All the workers went to lunch, so a bunch of our kids each cut off a long branch from the trees and picked up a big tar ball at the tips of each of those branches. Then we went out to the streets outside of our neighbor hood and hid behind trees on the pavements. When a truck or a car was coming near by, we would fling the branches out with a tar ball at the tip to surprise those drivers on the road and see how many drivers got startled and stopped. Majority of the drivers got surprised and stopped, and then we just laughed on the side walks. Most drivers simply stopped and cursed then drove away. There was one driver stopped his truck, got truly angry and got off his car to come chasing after us. We just ran away in all different directions . . ." Both David and D-Rick had a good laugh over the story, but D apparent felt the story was not extraordinary enough and started telling his stories while still laughing: "That was nothing. I would tell you something else that we did. One of my uncles was a bad, bad dude. He was this real gangster type and he was divorced from his wife, my cousins' mom. One day, my cousins and I went to his house and he had to leave the house for something. He kept on telling us: 'don't be going through my stuff now. I will be right back and I am watching.' Then he left. My cousins spread out, some watching the gate to see if he's back and others went through his drawers to find money or other interesting things. We found a gun. Then my cousins took the gun to their mom's house, which was not far. Their mom was not home either, so they started playing with the gun like this: 'Ka, Ka', 'Ka, Ka'. One of my cousins pulled the trigger of the gun but with a finger buffering between the pin and the bullet, holding back the pin that was to hit the bullet. He slowly relaxed his finger and eased the pin closer and closer to the bullet. When the pin already touched the bullet, then he thought everything was going to be fine and slowly moved his finger away. Afterwards, 'BOOM' there was this loud thump and the bullet just flew out and punched holes through the floor over the basement, the door and the wall of another room. All of us got into a big panic and asked: 'What do we do? What do we do now?' Finally, we started hanging up pictures to cover those holes. So when my aunt came back home, she found pictures in all the odd places like at this place of the door, middle of the floor and all that. It was so funny!!!" D-Rick pointed at the waist high of the door at the computer room and fell into a deeper and deeper laughter with David watching, while recollecting his memory about the misfire incident.

David said, "Have you read George W Bush's biography that the president used to play pranks also just liked most other kids. Even though his dad and his family were millions of dollars richer than yours and mine, but it seemed White, Asian or Black all liked to make troubles when they are young." "Un-uh. I am not a reader like you David. In fact, I don't think anybody in this department is as serious a reader as you are. We watch videos and DVDs". David continued with what he had read in the Bush biography and said: "I read in Bush's biography that he like many other white kids in this country used to take out neighbors' mailboxes along road strips, shortly after getting to drive their first cars. Does that sound like basically the same thing as black or Asian kids you and I did when we couldn't find better things to do (人之初,性本善)? When we get into our 40's, some white kids would become the CEO of an oil exploration company or the manager of a Major League Baseball team. Some Asian kids would become computer programmers and some black kids are going to become computer operators (王侯将相, 宁有种乎?). In the end, do we all end up the same, as 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust'(树高千丈,叶落归根)?"

D-Rick seemed a little irritated at the mentioning of President Bush's youth adventures and said: "Have you heard from the news recently what they were going to do for the war again? They are going to send more money to Iraq while there are still many people in this country not even taken care of. I heard rumors on the Internet that millions of dollars in cash were jus missing from those Iraq funding. Nobody knew where the money went and nobody was accounted for." David felt he didn't want to get into another lengthy Iraq related conversation, because it was going to take too long to talk about. He only heard about American tax moneys used to build some fancy sports utilities that were not practical, much like how government money were spent anywhere in the world. Since he was a contractor after all and didn't want to be seen talking to customers all day without doing what he was hired to do, which was writing some C# codes.

"Were there any surprises in that" David asked "I thought this is the Halliburton country here in Houston. And you are not supposed to believe those conspiracy theories, such as Ken Lay is now living in Bahamas next door to Elvis Presley". D-Rick made the serious face of brotherhood and solidarity by raising his fist while saying: "one day, I am going to get my share of the pie and I am going to get that cash". Then David raised his right arm with a fist of "power to the people" and praised him: "That’s' right brother man! That's the most inspiring thing I have heard you talking the entire day. Go for it". Then he left the computer room and the lesson of that day.

Overall, D-Rick was not angry and serious like the time he swore to get some government cash. For the most part and to most of the co-workers, he was just like a ray of sunshine in the late April or early May, always cheerful, pleasant and happy as ever.

Another employee who talked to David quite a lot was Bob Sutton, a "computer programmer" / "system administrator" / "network administrator" / "computer technician" because Burrito House seemed couldn't find exactly what to ask of him, and decided to just ask him doing various kinds of things as needed. It was time for the POS system to be rolled out to individual restaurant locations, and David was told to ride out with Bob time after time to install his newly developed applications and configure PC's to run the application properly in different branches.

For a Vietnam War veteran, Bob seemed to be doing quite well psychologically contrary to many post-war literatures. This is a generation of people who were supposed to get post-traumatic distress syndromes, but instead Bob often appeared to be calm, cheerful and slightly optimistic. He used to buy crappy houses to fix up and sell them at a high price. After getting out of that business, he started building a geodesic dome for his family in his spare time, which he called "peaceful dome" on the Internet and periodically updated some pictures about its state of construction.

There were many unique things about Bob, least of which worth mentioning was Bob's programming skills. Bob was the only programmer David had ever known to program in only one environment -- Microsoft Access -- and with only one skill -- Macro -- no matter how complicated a project was. He taught himself all about Macros and then stopped learning and refused to touch anything related to Visual Basic in Access. Among all the variation of programmers David had seen, if there is such an award for "most Access Macros ever written", Bob was the programmer who could win the life time achievement award for it.

Starting around Christmas of 2005, Bob and David started driving around in the same car, like a pair of partners in a police department. First thing David noticed was that Bob was not enthusiastic about celebrating Christmas as much as rest of the 80% of the Western world. Employees, especially female employees in Burrito House headquarter loved to get into the holiday atmosphere and passed around gifts and cards in the office. Bob seemed to be the only party pooper around, by pointing out: "if you ladies want to be nice to people, don't just pretend to be nice to me around Christmas. Try to be nice to people all year round".



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